Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
