laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
