hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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