What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
