no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
