She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
