Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize