Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
