im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
