Christians are straight up FREAKS
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
