i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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