That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
