I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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