All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
vagina is talking i cant
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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