The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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