Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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