i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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