I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
