And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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