Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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