He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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