There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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