i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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