I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
