She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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