Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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