maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
