Kiss
Puke
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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