sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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