Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sext me about skeletons
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
