She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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