What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
