Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
