I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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