I murdered the dance floor call the cops
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you never un-have a 4some
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
