you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
