We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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