You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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