On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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