You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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