hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
