I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
