Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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