He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
