How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
