Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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