this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
