haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
