I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Boobs are out for the taking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
