i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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